ALGOL.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Mistress._ "DID EVERYTHING COME FROM THE STORES THAT I
ORDERED?"
_Maid._ "EVERYTHINK, MUM, 'CEPT THE 'ADDICK, WHICH IS COMING ON BY ITSELF
LATER."]
* * * * *
ENGLAND UNBENDS.
REPORTS FROM SPA AND SHORE.
SCARGATE.--This famous Yorkshire Spa is now in a condition of hectic
activity and offers a plethora of attractions. A recent analysis of the
waters shows that the proportion of sapid ovaloid particles and
sulphuretted trinitrotoluene is larger than ever. Lieutenant Platt-
Stithers' stincopated anthropoid orchestra plays four times daily--in the
early morning and at noon for the relief of the water-drinkers, and in the
afternoon and evening in the rotating Jazz Hall. Special attractions this
week include cinema lectures daily on the domestic life of the Solomon
Islanders by Mr. Nicholas Ould; a recital on the Bolophone on Thursday by
Mr. Tertius Quodling, and, at the Grand Opera House, _Pope Joan_ and _The
Flip-Flappers_. On Saturday the Stridcar Golf Club will hold a series of
competitions in rational fancy dress for the benefit of the Phonetic
Spelling Association.
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