"The majority of social case workers are unmarried women under
forty, and in this particular respect they frequently find
themselves handicapped by the natural reluctance of the deserter to
discuss his conceptions of the marital relation in such a way as to
be enlightening to them, as well as by the chivalrous attitude which
the woman of the tenements often adopts toward her unmarried
visitor. The decisive statement, 'You have never been married, so
you can't understand,' often proves at least a temporary barrier in
dealing with deserted wives, just as the similar statement, 'You
have never been a mother so you cannot know the feelings of one,' is
used to block her efforts in another direction. If it is found
impossible to carry on the necessary discussions rationally and
without too serious embarrassment, it is often possible to call upon
the socially-minded physician or clergyman for help along this
line."[25]
To sum up, the interviews with the family and the supplementary visits
and letters of inquiry should furnish the social worker if possible
with:
1. A clear picture of the home in which the two adult members of the
family grew up, and the factors in their early training which
contributed to their failure as husband or wife; or which can be
utilized as assets in the future plan.
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